Jess' Blog

What an artist is Uggie in The Artist – will he get an Oscar?

Jess — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:02:34 +0000

Oh I’m beyond heartbroken (that’s the new phrase to use by us celebrities you know). I’m in love. And the focus of my deep ardour is called Uggie. He’s the Jack Wooffie star of the film The Artist. We could have made beautiful pups together if my bits hadn’t been take away. But he won’t be interested in me now I have nothing to offer him, I’m devastated. I’ve waited six years to find the right one and for nothing. I’ll have to wear my heart on my collar. Where’s a bone I can chew to manage my frustration. Strong request to J and J (it’s their fault I lost my bits) - I want the DVD when it comes out so I can curl up in my bed and watch it every day. I hope he gets an Oscar http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-16469815

Merry Christmas from Jess at Symonds Yat in the Wye Valley

Jess — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 09:57:13 +0000

Jess at Christmas

Here I am dressed up in a silly hat for the benefit of humans again. Everyone rushing around like mad – at least all I have to do is pose prettily as usual and look forward to my presents from under the tree. I’ve had a sniff around. The perfumes I like are Canal than Chanel of course. No luck in that direction so far.

LOTS OF LOVE and HAPPY CHRISTMAS FROM US ALL AT PORTLAND HOUSE

Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Celebrations June 2013

Jess — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 08:43:40 +0000

Exciting plans are underway in Whitchurch and Symonds Yat West, Herefordshire to celebrate the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee between 3-5 June 2013. A street party with hog roast, jazz band and street entertainers. Art competition and exhibition depicting the Monarchy and Jubilee celebrations. A river carnival on the River Wye and fireworks and beacon lighting. We will be one of the 2013 beacons around the UK lighting up. Look for updates on our facebook page from January.

Please please like our Facebook page below – it’s important to us to get at least 25 likes

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Portland-Guest-House/282521468454726

Best Xmas cake recipe

Jess — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 16:05:28 +0000

Jenny reckons this recipe is the best she’s ever tried.

Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
… * 115 grams of butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup… Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Check the wine. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine. Wipe worktop with cat.

Dog tired today – and where’s the border controls in South Herefordshire

Jess — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:41:01 +0000

Dog tired or Cow eyed – which is it ? Both I think. We’ve just come back from a long and brilliantly exciting walk. Jenny and me with my sister Saffy and her ‘Mummy Anne’ to King Arthur’s Caves on the Doward Hill from my house, Portland Guest House. The weather was beautiful and the carpet of leaves stupendous. Then all of a sudden – wham bam there’s ‘Matilda and her friends’ straight ahead. Jenny and Anne had to get a stick each and cry ‘mush mush move’!! And Saffy and me had to be picked up – the indigity of it. A herd of Fresians as well, not even Herefords for goodness sake. Who let these cows in? Border controls lacking here again I see. Happening all over the place these days. Anyway mustn’t milk this story any longer. But now you know what you are missing by not visiting South Herefordshire at the moment

‘Dog eared’?. Excuse me!

Jess — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 12:34:23 +0000

I’m ignoring Jo at the moment. No cuddles. She had the cheek to call some of the books on the bookcase ‘dog eared’. Ther’s nothing wrong with dogs’ ears, how insulting. My ears are particulary nice and silky and smooth. OK so the rest of me isn’t, but no wooffie is perfect. Why not call the books human eared or worn - it’s humans that got them in that state not wooffies.

What isn’t dogeared is the Forest of Dean at the moment. Just look at these leaves. There’s so many on the ground it’s a pleasure to stoop and have a tinkle.

We must never forget – Remembrance Sunday

Jess — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 17:56:32 +0000

As a Wooffie I also will remember all the brave animals that have served their country in wartime too.

What’s New?

Jess — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:02:22 +0000

Well the weather has turned yukky for today. the winds are high and the rain is vertical. About how it should be in October I suppose but us Woffies we don’t like the winds – scary. We had a lovely busy weekend though. Lots of nice people staying. I made new friends again. Like Ben – who was very handsome (black labrador – a canine Harry Belafonte!) We had fun in the garden, but like all male species he sat down earlier than me with his ball in his mouth. You notice I’m still working – I can hear those pesky moles – the hills are alive with the sound of moles! But not in my garden they’re not. I’ll be barking mad if we get mole hills. Still I’ll forgive Ben anything cos he’s very good looking and he was a rescue Wooffie, who was very badly treated. How can some humans be so cruel? Ben enjoyed his ‘holiday’ in the Lloyd Suite where he could get straight out to the garden through the conservatory.

The weaker sex?!

And we had pretty Catrin and her Mummy and Daddy staying in the Ross Suite. I’m not allowed up there but Catrin had plenty of other fluffy things to play with indoors, as well as the doll’s house . But below you can see we had a time for a cuddle before she went home. I expect we’ll have more children to stay next week as it’s half term. I’ll be rushed of my paws with work again.

A cuddle with Catrin

Who’s been to the dentist?

Jess — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:53:52 +0000

Poor Jenny – she’s had to have 2 teeth out today. Wow – does she feel sorry for herself. Me – I just think her bark is worse than her bite anyway!!!! from Jess

Tesco it ain’t, thank goodness

Jess — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 11:23:09 +0000

Our new village shop is opened by our MP Jesse Norman. Hurrah! …..after 5 years of Whitchurch having to tolerate a very poorly run shop by its previous owners, we now have a beautiful new emporium,

John and Jenny enjoying the festivities

called Woods of Whitchurch, thanks to Lucy and Neville, the new owners. What a wonderful job they have done in cleaning it up for a start and redesigning it as well as stocking with a brilliant range of scrumptious goodies. Not only will it be great for us villagers but our guests will really appreciate what it can offer too sa it is just next door to us. Just to stroll out of our gates and buy the morning paper before breakfast as well as perhaps choosing pasties or pastries for the day ahead. Wonderful for morning coffee

The shop opening party

too, to be able to just sit outside, relax and watch the world go by. Jenny is enjoying this too after she’s taken me for walkies of course.